A comprehensive guide to the phrases, threats, and declarations that define the Karen experience. Study these terms to understand (or embody) the art of customer complaint.
A claim of personal connection that is almost certainly exaggerated or completely fabricated, deployed to suggest that consequences for the business are imminent.
Best used when you've been to the establishment twice and once saw someone who looked important.
Low. The owner has heard this 47 times this week.
A dramatic declaration of boycott, typically made at least once per visit to the same establishment.
Deliver while gathering your belongings slowly to ensure maximum audience.
Zero. You'll be back next Tuesday.
The verbal equivalent of highlighting text in red. Indicates that something has crossed an invisible line that exists only in the speaker's mind.
Can be applied to literally any situation, from cold fries to nuclear war.
Medium. It's vague enough to be hard to argue with.
An appeal to tenure that suggests loyalty should override all policies, logic, and basic mathematics.
Always round up. Three visits becomes 'years of loyalty.'
Low. The employee makes $12/hour and does not care.
The Karen double-dip: demanding to keep the benefits of a transaction while also undoing it completely.
State confidently, as if this is a completely reasonable request.
Surprisingly high if you're persistent enough.
The nuclear option. A threat to escalate so far up the chain that surely SOMEONE will care.
Deploy after 'I want to speak to your manager' has failed.
Low. Corporate has a form letter for this.
A rhetorical question that implies the speaker is more important than they actually are.
Only use if you're prepared for the answer to be 'No.'
Very low. Also very embarrassing.
A misquoted retail principle that originally referred to market demand, now weaponized to justify any behavior.
Invoke as if it's constitutional law.
Zero. No one believes this anymore.
A threat of public shaming via Yelp, Google, or TripAdvisor. The modern equivalent of nailing complaints to the church door.
Make sure to mention you're 'an influencer' for extra impact.
Medium. Reviews do matter, but everyone knows one-star reviews are usually like this.
A grass-is-greener comparison suggesting superior treatment at a rival establishment, despite no evidence.
Name the fanciest competitor you can think of, regardless of relevance.
Low. Feel free to go there, then.
The ultimate escalation threat, implying legal action over minor inconveniences.
Reserved for when the return window has been exceeded by more than 90 days.
Zero. No lawyer is taking this case.
An expression of performative shock, suggesting the speaker has never encountered such treatment in their entire sheltered existence.
Deliver with hand on chest for maximum effect.
Zero, but great for drama.
The Karen lexicon is ever-evolving. If you've encountered a phrase that deserves documentation, we regret to inform you that we are not accepting submissions at this time. This is simply our policy, and we will not be making exceptions.