I'd Like to Speak to Your Manager

Full Karen Mode

Category: retail

retailmanagerescalation

Opening

This letter serves as formal documentation of the WORST customer service experience of my entire life.

Body

Your employee had the AUDACITY to tell me that the policy is the policy. Let me be clear: I do not care about your policy. I care about being treated with the respect I deserve as a customer who has spent THOUSANDS of dollars at this establishment over the years. When I explained that I am a [PLATINUM/GOLD/SILVER] member, your employee barely blinked. Do you train your staff to be this dismissive? Is basic human decency not part of your onboarding process? I specifically asked to speak with a manager, and was told the manager was 'unavailable.' Convenient. Very convenient.

Closing Demands

I demand a written apology, the termination of the employee in question (or at minimum, extensive retraining), and lifetime VIP status for my troubles.

Sign-off

I will be waiting,

[YOUR NAME]

Pro tip: For maximum effect, print this letter on your finest stationery and mail it via certified mail with return receipt requested. They'll know you mean business.